Conflict Management
A reality check:
At the outset I would like to make it clear that I’m no expert on managing conflicts. I have had my share of conflicts and it hasn’t always been that I have come out a winner, a loser or somewhere between the former two. So in effect I’m just giving the hypothetical third party arbitrator’s view on the below case and how he would have dealt with it.
A hypothetical case in point:
Two colleagues at an office wrangle over an issue. The colleagues in question are the team lead and his team member. Let us call these guys, respectively, TL and TM.
The issue is whether certain software codes are required to be changed because of a request from the onsite team. While the TM meant the correct code to be changed he was less than clear in his email when saying so, the TL on the other pointed out this lapse as though this is what the TM does all the time. And this led to a slew of emails exchanged between the two which become harsher by the minute.
Moreover, the TM has always had a feeling that the TL believes himself to be infallible while being curt through his actions and thus disrespectful to him all the while expecting TMs to respect him. The TL on the other hand has always felt that the TM hasn’t respected his authority enough and has questioned him unnecessarily. The TL has his share of insecurities playing hard rugby inside his head all the while being in denial of this just to cover up and therefore moves on with the assumption that nothing is wrong and no one is seeing. The TM, like his TL, had his own insecurities brought out by his ambivalence about his future goals and prospects. The intermingling of these insecurities is the recipe, but not quite the absolute recipe, for the clash that took place two weeks ago though the seeds where sown long before the d-day of clash.
The two parties approached the arbitrator separately and apprised him of the clash while describing their respective side of the story.
Arbitrator’s hypothetical prognosis & diagnosis (with added theoretical facts/assumptions):
I (arbitrator) being the third party and so neutral decided to call in a common meeting to ascertain facts and fix the reason and probably find an amicable end to the conflict. During the meeting I came out with two questions to be answered by the warring parties.
1. Was it the confusion over the immediate task that led to the clash? So does that mean the conflict is a recent development?
2. Was it a clash between personalities/styles, which given the difference of opinion on the immediate task at hand, snow-balled into something much more substantial and debilitating for the team as a cohesive unit? So does that mean the conflict has dragged along for a longer time?
The clash involved email exchanges that became harsher with every exchange over a mere 10 minute period while both the parties sat just 5-10 feet from each other. A pebble of confusion rolled down a precipice into a round boulder of immense size, crushing all the elements of professional decency and credibility of both the parties involved. The emails mostly included accusations and counter accusations which pointed each others failings with regard to a trivial issue that could have been resolved over a single phone call. The phone call might have as well been replaced or complimented by a one on one meeting.
A phone call could have been made by either of the parties when the task based confusion erupted, but wasn’t made because of the mistrust that had enveloped their relationship. And the fact that the two had not spoken to each other over the months indicated that both the parties knew of the impending clash in one way or the other and this inevitability of the future resulted in they taking hard stances just to prove their point when the opportunity arose.
The TM had no hesitation in saying that the above two questions were in fact related and should be seen in union. The TM believed that it was indeed the personality/style factor that brought out the initial phase of conflict, a good couple of months back. The second phase, according to him, involved the confusion over the immediate task and the final phase was the transforming of the task based confusion back into the personality/style clash.
On the other hand, the TL was of the opinion that there was no personality/style clash in the first place. He said that he did not realize that there indeed was a conflict raging between him and his TM over the past couple of months. All he was bothered with was the harsh and thus disrespectful language used by the TM in the emails and that was his whole raison d’etre to come to the meeting.
Therefore, the two parties had a difference of opinion on what led to this final clash and what should be looked at as the correct prognosis and hence the ensuing diagnosis. Was it the email chain per se or was it the mistrust that had been seething under the carpet for over two months? And even when the email per se was treated as the sole cause, the parties couldn’t or wouldn’t agree on the point where the exchanges turned anything but task based disagreement, which is highly acceptable in a professional atmosphere.
Arbitrator’s hypothetical treatment:
I see this issue can be resolved in multiple ways and the best way forward depends on whether the warring parties want to reconcile and get on with life. In fact the TM has said that he wants to do so and wants things be as they were 2 months ago when the two parties had an almost ideal professional relationship. The TL, however, does not see where he has gone wrong and keeps harping on the email per se without realizing that he may have sent the wrong message to the TM through his recalcitrant attitude.
However, being the third party, I would not like to take partisan stance in favor of either of the two simply because both the parties are equally important for the smooth functioning of the team and hence for the delivery of quality deliverables to the client. Both in fact have strong points which I will consider more important than their few and far between weaknesses.
So here are the options:
• Status quo: Let things be as it is and let the two warring factions continue fighting their flimsy battles. A plausible option where the friction boils down to such high levels at which one of the two gives in. However possible, this isn’t a good option.
• Move one: Move one of the two to another team and hence be a traditional 20th century arbitrator. An implausible solution because of current reality of no new vacancies in other teams and hence ruled out.
• Change the status quo: The two parties reconcile and get on with the work with a new arrangement which respects each party’s sensibilities and opinions. An Ideal and a workable solution.
Tsunami
December 26th 2004 has gone into history books as one of the most infamous days for the large scale human tragedy caused by the Tsunami that struck that day. The tsunami that caused havoc across much of world had its impact in the southern part of India too. And I was there in the very tip of the Indian state of Tamil Nadu in Kanyakumari, to be precise, to witness first hand the wrath of Mother Nature.
In December of 2004 I was working for TCS, Chennai and since it was a long weekend, I and my then colleague decided to go on a whirlwind tour of southern Tamil Nadu. This was a totally unplanned trip and what a whirlwind trip it turned out to be. Upon reaching Kanyakumari I and my friend decided to head to the famous Vivekananda Rock Memorial, which was on a small island just of the coast - just 10 minutes boat ride away from the mainland. Sharp 10:00AM we were in the queue to board the boat that would carry us to the island. The ocean waters were as calm as it could get and we did not even have the slightest inkling of what was about to come our way.
On reaching the island we had a quick look around the place. We looked at the Meditation hall- where it is said Swami Vivekananda attained his enlightenment, had our snaps taken and bought our souvenirs from the souvenir shop, and went around the hall to have a 360 degree view of the island, which was put smack in the middle of the Indian Ocean. After a good one hour or so we were all set to leave when the word-of-mouth message came in from the boat operators that a low tide was coming our way and hence the boat would not come to pick us up until the high tide returned and to add a slight twist to the tale, one of the operator in fact to went on to say that that was quite normal. So no one bothered. An hour later, however, things started to change.
The low tide transformed into something more phenomenal. Within a matter of few seconds the ocean was devoid of water. The crowd of around 600 people let a huge sigh in astonishment. We all could see the bare earth with the algae and other sea plants lying flat on the ground. It is at this point the operators became clueless and could not give a straight answer as to what was happening. And just then I received a call from my father from Bangalore that an earthquake had struck off the coast of the Indonesia and it was speculated in the news channels that a tsunami was on its way towards India. My father actually wanted to warn me not to go near any beach/coastlines. But when I said that I was already on the rock, he froze asking us to get out of there as soon as possible. All I could say to him was that I and my friend would do so ASAP though I knew that would not be possible until the boat came back for us. Then the mobile signal went dead.
The next second we saw something foamy white in color rushing towards the Thiruvallvar statue which was a good 50-100 meters away from the rock on which we were standing. The foamy white colored wave came crashing into the statue, the rock and then moved towards the mainland. One moment the ocean was empty and the next moment with that huge wave the ocean was replenished to the max. But there was more to come. The waters receded back again in a jiffy only to repeat the foamy white display all over again with a even bigger sized wave. This second wave, we approximated to be around 40-60 feet in height, hit the rock hard splashing water over people who were on the left side of the rock. All the people, except one who was recording every moment of Mother Nature’s fury on his handy cam, in the vicinity came running helter-skelter towards right side of the rock where I and my colleague were standing. The wave then continued on to batter the coastline as hard as it could give. We saw small buildings tumble like a pack of cards and we even thought the distant church would also fall prey to the wave. The wave, after having bounced of the coastline, returned back with debris, which included our long awaited boat, smashed in to smithereens, and another huge boat dragged into the heart of the ocean and with that raising our anxiety levels.
The next thing I heard was my phone ring. I told my father that I was on the rock and was in no position to leave it soon. The call got disconnected and my phone starts buzzing again. It was my brother this time. He informs me that the Air Force was on its way for rescue efforts and the local administration would be soon dropping food packets. Well, well, well, I and my colleague thought, this wasn’t what we had expected and all the fun and exhilarating stuff we were having was gradually turning out into dream gone bad.
Around 12.30 PM we saw a small canoe, with a couple of local fisherman braving the fickle tides, come over to the rock from the mainland with food packets, just as my brother had said. What came next was one of the most disgusting sights I have ever seen. People went wild, jumping and climbing over each other to grab packets of food, though there was plenty of such packets which were provided by church which was being battered by the waves just a few minutes ago. We had hardly been on the rock for 2.5 hours and people acted as though they had gone hungry for more than a year. Food was spilt all over the place. People had sullied the picturesque rock with their filthy behavior and yet they did not hesitate to scoff at the administration for being “late”. This sordid display of human greed lasted a good hour or so and then when the “animals” had exhausted their energies they decided to take a breather. “Animals” dispersed in different directions with a lucky few finding a comfortable place under the shadow of the memorial’s roof. An eerie silence that followed lasted for an endless few hours and was only disturbed by the rotor blades of an IAF rescue copter descending from the distant sky across the mainland.
People, correctly sensing that the copter was there for their rescue decided to throng the area on the rock where they felt the copter would mostly likely land. To everyone’s dismay the chopper pilot did not land and at ‘that’ spot but moved on to land in another place in a different angle. Seeing this few in the crowd went restless – all the while running from here to there. One lady went berserk, crying and yelling at the hapless authorities to rescue her and her child. Sensing that her nervousness will transmit an airborne disease of panic across the rock, I and my friend decided to calm her down. We took her to a corner of the island to soothe her nerves. In this we indeed succeeded and while other people were going helter-skelter about what was going on, the day was coming to a close and it was well past 7:00 PM.
While I and my colleague were seeing this spectacle of people scurrying from one place to another, I got a call from brother who said that the copter pilot, who is a colleague of my brother in the Air Force, had decided to call off permanently the rescue mission because he could not find a suitable spot to perform the rescue maneuvers. It is then that I my colleague decided to take the canoe which was sent by the local administration as an alternative to the copter for the rescue mission and which was overlooked by all the people on the island as a safe way to reach back the mainland. I and my friend and few other men boarded the small canoe and were taken back to the shoreline around 7:30 PM.
What a relief it was to be back on the mainland. And to our astonishment the boatman gave us thumbs up by appreciating me and my friend for having been brave enough to take the canoe instead of waiting for the copter all the while knowing that the tide was fickle. I and my colleague looked at each other, had a chuckle and believed that we were darn lucky to be alive that day.
Shantaram by Gregory Roberts
The last book I read was Shantaram, a recollection of facts with whole lot of fiction by the Australian author. The book is lucidly written and makes for interesting reading throughtout its 900+ pages. The story of Lin-baba or Shantaram takes the protaganist from his Australian prison high walls to Mumbai and from Mumbai to Afganistan and then back to Mumbai, where the story ends.
The charcters that make the book are extremes and yet lovable to the core. If Prabhaker was the ever smiling chap in the book, Kaderbhai was the ever so calm and dominant one who controls everyone through his mesmerising words and daring actions. If Abdul Ghani was the ultimate traitor, Karla was the ultimate seductress and qouter of qoutes.
The book traces the protaganist's encounters of affairs, friendships, enimities, horrors and happiness, all with a mirror to his own past before he jumped the high walls of the Australian prison. He is the yaaro ka yaar and dushmano ka dushman. He is the quinessential hero who sees and experiences everything and anything without regrets even if it means he is on the wrong side of the law while being beside his pals from the Mumbai underworld or being a doctor treating the slum dwellers while having no qualification whatsoever.
So in effect the book is the story about the adventurous one within each one of us. Read the book to know what your heart always wanted to be...
Thu.......thu....thu.......kraaaaaah...khak.. thuuuu!!!!
Any reader of the above first sentence in here might be wondering whether they have come across a sentence from another language written(to the best of ability) using the English letters. Well such readers might be in for a surprise. The words in the "cryptic" language are nothing but unique sound that emanates when somebody spits with a vengeance. This kind of spitting done within the confines of ones bathroom can be passed off as morning chores, but when delivered right in the middle of a public place turns out to be utterly vulgar.
The great Indian spitting spectacle is omnipresent in the Indian public space. One can't set foot on a clean patch of tar without stepping on a dozen or so spits, one can't walk a decent mile without noticing somebody spit at the expense of others, and one can't walk carefree in the belief that they are protected from airborne diseases such as TB.
This repulsive behavior of spitting without any compunction reflects the society we live in. A society with its more than average population of 'normal' human beings is expected to behave rationally, but in reality this human society has become so irrational that animals, with their supposedly lesser thinking capacity, look more rational. Take, the cat or the dog for example. These cute and intelligent animals do not go about phooping in any place they like. They respect the boundaries within which they ought to be living and hence phoop only in one fixed place, day after day until they die. This is a habit not restricted to dogs or cat in one part of the world. It is common to all animals whether those animals are living in a arid/poor desert country or in a temperate/rich European country.
So if animals can behave rationally without being a pest to other animals why can't we humans in India make an effort to modernize ourselves and be less of a curse to our fellow human beings?
Ok, here is me digressing a bit from my current writing topic of MBA applications. The change in topic is due to an important milestone attained by my beloved country, India.
India celebrated its 60th year of independence and a lot of hype and hoopla has been created around this event. Though, the achievement of having survived for 60 years for a country of India's diversity is humongous in every which way one sees, the idea of going overboard over a simple number is ridiculous. I feel that India has a lot more to achieve and is a long way away from a semblance of the ideal state-the Utopian state.
There are a few reasons as to why I don't like to brag about the "minimal" achievements India has had up to this point since 15 Aug 1947.
Firstly, India instead of being considered a soft power could have been called a hard/strong power, at this point in time had there been a different setup at the helm when the free Indian state was first created. I'm always forced to think what would have been the future of India if Sardar Patel were made India's first premier instead of Jawaharlal Nehru. Sardar Patel, with his rock steady stance brought in sweeping changes to India when it was caught in a whirlpool of dissent just after independence. Hyderabad, Goa and many other princely and colonial states had declared that they would not become part of the Indian nation just after the British left. These states had to be brought into the Indian fold one way or the other. A job only a man of Sardar Patel's calibre could execute. Sardar sent the Indian Army to subdue the dissidents and make their fiefdoms part of the Indian nation. If, I'm to believe the narrations of my elders, the actions of Sardar Patel sent messages across to all who had remotely fancied capitalizing on the mess that was India at the time of Independence. If a simple action of sending a mighty army against a weak princely state could send such message, then imagine what kind of message people would have received had Sardar been made the Premier and let to take some more critical and sweeping actions- vibes of which would have been felt even today!
Secondly, I'm dismayed to the core when I hear certain facts about how India and its leaders of the past took senseless decisions such as going to the United Nations to resolve disputes with Pakistan. When Pakistan created trouble for the first time in 1947 over the region of Jammu and Kashmir, India instead of putting Pakistan in its rightful place through military means, went to the UN for help. How stupid was Nehru? What was he thinking? Similarly, post the Indo-Pak 1971 war, the Indian leadership thought it wise to stop the Indian defense forces from proceeding further into Pak-Occupied-Kashmir and hence liberating it from the tyranny of Pakistani rule. What was Indira Gandhi thinking? Was she so naive to forget the pains associated with the 1947 incursion of Pakistani forces and irregulars? I guess she was just following in the footsteps of her megalomaniac father.
Such incompetent decisions from our so-called-leaders have led to the death of innocent Indian citizens and martyrdom to many brave Indian soldiers over the course of the past six decades. Not only have we lost our loved ones, but also had to pay heavily in misdirected funds and policies, which would have otherwise helped India, become a more prosperous country. Was Nehru a visionary as he was and is thought to be? Was he as competent as Sardar Patel was in resolving disputes the way they actually should have been? The jury is out there and I'm very clear on where the jury should go unless it too is as incompetent as Nehru was.
Thirdly, I cringe in anger when I realize that India now has 800 million people in some form of distress or deprivation. Anger because the leaders of the past failed to realize that they had an obligation towards to the future population of India. The governments between the years 1940 to 1970 failed to see the ticking population time bomb. There were no policies on controlling the population. Were the leaders blind to the fact that a policy on family planning could have brought in a sense of stability to the country when it was cash and resource poor? Did those leaders have puny of a brain to realize that a controlled population would have meant a more prosperous country of the future?
Detractors of my point here might suggest that the so-called lack of foresight on the part of our past leaders has directly or indirectly helped us now in getting business in billions of dollars and thus helping alleviate the pain and suffering of suppressed citizens. But, I say, what’s the point in boasting about our newfound prosperity when in fact the prosperity should have been achieved a couple of decades back? What’s the point when many people died a painful death when they deserved better? What’s the point in boasting about minimalist prosperity when the greater chunk of the Indian state is under the dread of farmers' suicide, militancy, hunger, exploitation, etc?
Fourthly, I'm saddened by the dirty behavior of my fellow countrymen- the chaltha hai attitude, the feeling that one can abuse public property at will, with impunity, or playing filthy politics all under the garb of democracy. What kind of democracy are we talking here? Are we looking at a democracy that encourages one to spit on the road and contribute to growing instances of TB, or a society where there exists a herd mentality for everything that is unacceptable against everything that is acceptable to a modern, forward looking society? The scourge of filthy behavior does not start at one point and end at another, it is all pervasive so much so that it forces and arm-twists even the most ardent devotees of Mother India to abuse her and sullen her with crap.
However, in spite there seeming to be no way out, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not naive to fail seeing the strides India has made even after all the bullshit that has been produced by our pathetic leaders. As long as India produces more and more of intellectuals like former President APJ Abdul Kalam, brave warriors like Major Vikaram Batra, diligent sportsperson like Dhanraj Pillay, or a steadfast police officer like Kiran Bedi there shall always be hope that saneness will conquer insaneness, there shall always be the hope that past mistakes shall be corrected once and for all, and there shall always exist a flicker of light for all the true believers in the might of India as a nation, a civilization, and a trendsetter for all nations of the world for the next sixty years and even beyond.
In my last entry I talked of my attempt at AIM, and my GMAT endevour. Now I will address some aspects of my hetherto experiences, post GMAT .
After my ok performance on the GMAT, I checked how good my score of 680 really was. I did my own reserach on the net and talked to my IMS consultant (yes, the Rs24K had the application consulting part in it too). The consultant told me that the score was good enough and she was quite convinced that a retake of the test wasn't required. I concur with her now, though I thought otherwise initially.
My next act was to check the schools that would be acceptable to me and schools that might find me acceptable. The parameters were the average GMAT scores, student diversity, costs, scholarships, and most importantly whether the schools entertain aspirants of general Management courses. After a month long research I have arrived at Gerogtown, McCombs, NUS, Nanyang, Emory and ISB, as probable schools.
I've now started with the ISB application process and will, in a week start the application process for the other schools.
I've completed much of the work for the ISB package and I'm almost on the verge of submitting my application well before the first deadline of September 15. However, I do know that I being a bit naive to think that ISB would even bother to consider my applciation. Because, a score of 680 is too low a GMAT score for ISB with its average GMAT score going only North with each passing year; the average GMAT score for last year was 710, a good 30 points above mine and a good indicator of my chances of making it to ISB. But then, they say every dog will have its day and mine could just be round the corner (wicked laughs..hahhehehehe).
Its been a long time since I logged into my blogger account and the purpose of this late entry is to log about the process that I have been take to achieve my goal-the goal of making it to a MBA school.
I started off, by looking at AIM, Manila. Sadly I did not make it to AIM, though I had cleared the AIMAT and was also invited for the GD and Interview. God only knows why I was not admitted into the school. No reason was provided by the adcom for the rejection. This happened sometime in Novemeber last year. At that time I only thought of AIM and no other school. Upon hindsight I think the reason- most probably- behind my rejection was that I sounded too casual. My essays could have sounded "not so serious" to the admission committee. But then the case might be other way round too, for the simple fact that AIM invites prospective students for the GD and interview only after thuroughly reviewing the submitted essays. But one thing is for sure, only God and AIM adcom know the real reason.
However, I must say I applied to AIM as a trail run to get a feel of what the MBA application process looked like. I had heard that MBA application was like climbing Mt Everest, and it indeed was, but it was also fun and enlightening- in every sense of the word. I wrote a woopping 14 essays for AIM, and that made me realise that I had so many good achievements and so many areas for improvements. I realised that that there were things that I had overlooked and things that I had overemphasised in my application.
Putting aside this "failure" I decided (sometime in early January) that I needed to consider applying to other schools( AIM does not entertain reapplication for the next three years after a attempt). And the first thing on my mind was the GMAT. I started my preparation for the GMAT by researching on the net about GMAT. I came to know of conductors of the test, the structure of the test and so on. My next question was "where do I stand in my writing, verbal and quant abilities?". I took a few practice tests doled out free by innumerable websites on the internet. I scored a paltry 530/800 on the first practice test. That result struck me like a bolt of lightning. I realised that I was lacking concentration, had forgotten basic mathematical and verbal concepts and had found it too tiring to sit 4 hours straight for the test. I thought I needed professional help and joined Comprehensive Pgm of IMS at their Jayanagar Branch in Bangalore. Half way through the classes I realised that IMS could teach me nothing new. IMS only thought me things that I already knew and things that were not required to crack the GMAT! I realised that all I needed was more practice and no new gyan from the tutors at IMS. The hasty decisiosn of joining IMS put me back by Rs24000/-. My advice to all you readers and prospective MBA students look for alternatives before you have no choice but to shell out huge sums of money on institutes.
Half way through my 6 month preparation for the GMAT, I came across some sites such as the scorechase.com and scoretop.com. I was most attracted to the former and became an avid participant on the many GMAT forums on the site. People like Hagrid, Guardian, Fizzler, Big Boss, KPsreenath, and many others helped me hone my basic concepts and helped me correct my inncorrect assumptions and concepts then and there. And the best part of it all was that the advice and help came for a puny of an amount compared to the Rs24K I paid to IMS. At Rs1.5K for the Gold memebership, I came across such questions and solutions that helped me feel confident and that were actually reflective of the real GMAT. My practice test scores jumped from a pathetic 530 to 680 and then to 730 in matter of weeks. With the new confidence I booked my GMAT appointment for June 18 2007, 13:15 slot. I scored a 680(Q49,V34, AWA 5.5). I was pleased with the quant score but felt a bit let down by the verbal score. I was doing really well in the verbal section untill I came across an RC at the 22nd Q mark. The RC was so tough that I could not comprehend it even after a second read. And the 5 questions that followed on that RC were even spooky. From that point on till the last Q, I started getting simple CR and SC Q's from which I realised that I had screwed up the last half of the verbal section. The only happy aspect of the whole episode was the fact that I was able surpass my average practice score. The average of my practice test scores came to 675 and I was pleased to see the 680 score on the screen.
ok..gotta hurry now..will continue in my next post...
